All a Dream

My girlfriend tends to talk in her sleep. As long as I’ve been with her I’ve had to occasionally deal with her waking me up (or keeping me up) with whatever is going through her head.

Most of the time it’s actually pretty funny, she would often say completely absurd stuff that must have had something to do with her dream, like “the pickles are escaping” or “but I already talked to the squid, he didn’t know…” Sometimes, though, she would say things that were downright creepy. I remember one time when she just chuckled and said “Crash!” while pointing at a vase of flowers that we kept on top of the dresser. Moments later, it fell to the ground and broke. I just chalked it up to “one of those things” and tried not to give it too much thought, although my mind would sometimes go back to the moment when it was late at night and I was feeling paranoid.

After some time listening to her ramblings, I tried responding and found that I could converse with her in her sleep, sometimes for as long as ten or fifteen minutes at a time. As with her solo sleeptalking, she reported no memory of the conversation, which amused me greatly and creeped her out. One morning, when I was relating the story of another sleep conversation, she had the idea to try recording one so that she could hear it too.  Continue reading ‘All a Dream’ »

In Which I Overthink a Superhero Movie

So, a friend of mine and I were watching Iron Man, and when we got to the scene in Act 2 when Pepper replaces Tony’s old arc reactor with a newer version, we got to thinking about the various problems inherent with the arc reactor

The first thing we noticed was that, while Pepper may have canonically small hands, she was reaching just past the wrist inside of Tony’s chest (please get your snickers about Pepper being wrist-deep inside Tony out now, okay?). This struck us as rather odd, since it’s not like Tony Stark is a particularly large guy. We measured her (also small) hand, and figured that Pepper was reaching nearly six inches in. We then estimated that, measured from the sternum to the back, my chest couldn’t be more than eight or so inches deep, leaving barely any room for anything else in that part of the chest. Continue reading ‘In Which I Overthink a Superhero Movie’ »

An Unlikely Dialogue (in which I go meta)

John opened his eyes and found himself in a small dorm room with a blond-haired man, who was furiously working at a desk, alternating between typing on his laptop and scribbling in a notebook.3587847888

“Um… where am I?” John asked the man, who turned around and smiled at John.

“Ah, excellent! I wondered how long it would take for you to get here.”

“From where? And where is here?”

“From my story, obviously. This is my world, and you are part of my story.”

“Wait… you’re the author?”

“Guilty as charged. You see, I brought you here to-”

“What the fuck have you been doing? My story is going unfinished while you dick around!” Continue reading ‘An Unlikely Dialogue (in which I go meta)’ »

Return of the Blog and The Night of Smart Decisions

So, I recently spent quite a while rendered completely useless by a sinus infection, which is why I have failed to update the blog in a little over a week (sorry about that, but sinus infections leave both my body and my brain pretty damn useless). I mostly managed to take good care of myself during this time, but there was one night, which I call the Night of SmartTHURS_003B_G_ENG-GB_70x100.indd Decisions, where the idea of doing anything intelligently had been thrown forcefully out the window of my brain to be crushed underfoot.

This was a particularly busy night for me, I had a meeting with some of my classmates about a documentary project for one of our classes and then I was meeting with a friend of mine to see Thor: The Dark World. It just so happened that the meeting ran late enough that there was no time for dinner between it and meeting my friend at the bus stop, but I was too distracted by my excitement for the movie that I didn’t notice.

That was mistake number one. Continue reading ‘Return of the Blog and The Night of Smart Decisions’ »